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preparing for the move

Preparing for the move to wordpress, in doing so went over some early enteries(not all for there were too many). My spelling is bad, grammar so so etc …photos priceless for the most part for the memories they provoke.Rereading I realized the journey I have taken in the last six years was extrodinary and difficult and mostly deleted as it was too much to share, too raw and open. I will always be thankful for that journey as the life lessons learnt are a measure to my growth and yet still backward ways. My heart usually leads my head, God rules my body and soul He always did and just waited for me to catch up so to speak.I met some wonderful people along the way and lost touch with most as things in cyber space changed and I stopped writing (many excuses there). I’m not sure what this new change will bring but I will have my photos saved and the peotry for what it is worth (for me lot as I know the times in which it was written) a few stories and comments that meant alot ( I am sure there are still some to be deleted but weary of the task).

   There a new entry for a new begining in a new space.

life in the last year …

  Life has changed drastically , so much has happened , so many life lessons , hard yet rewarding too . It’s been so long , too long . I have sheletered myself from the outside world , dealing with what is directly here in my face . Time again to venture out, with a new attitude and outlook .Caution learnt   in this crazy world, no longer naive to wayward souls … Still loving and kind with a touch of untrust, well deserved . Read , married , friendship only … and many interests …

life …

say good night Gracie … "GeorgeBurns"

you …

 I can no longer see your face

nor feel your breathe upon me …

but forever you will remain

within this heart of mine.

 Your spirit too has disapated,

gone to the ends of time…

 I yearn to feel you again,

your gentleness,

your smell …

that voice inside my heart …

 To hear your voice low and husky,

filled with longing,

was it for peace within …

or a love that would be strong …

 I miss you .

Kiffin

 

time …

Well it seems to work as long as I don’t mess with the settings . Cancer has hit the family once again. My Dad will find out in the next few days as to how bad it all is . We know some but a CAT scan will tell the whole story , I pray there is no more to add then what there already is . My uncle  has been admitted three times (intwo weeks )bleeding out ,recieving five units of blood and yet they would send him home without looking for the source of the bleed for him to be near death to be rushed in again ????At a time when our health care is going down hill fast my Dad  has been dealt with quickly . For that I am truly thankful . I would like to on the other hand take the goverment by the balls and squeeze hard ! In this day and age  what is happening is unnessaccary but oh I degress MONEY is the thing that makes all things happen and well our great system is out . So then bring in the private , let the rich pay what they can and help those who can’t ( the goverment that is ) Greed destroys all , not listening to pts. , relying only on tests not symptons or the gut, what the heck is happening out there . I worked in the system and we called a Dr. or nurse  on what was not right . First we need to have Dr’s and nurses , very hard to find around here and those who are , are over worked . What happened to if a pt lives an hour away and calls just to ask one question , no one calls back as the Dr’s don’t do that anymore nor do they call in refills . So travel an hour there , cost of gas , finding  a way there in the first place , take three mins. of their time get sent home with nothing taken care of that was promised on the last visit , only to try again … No wonder one becomes tired and frustrated . Smile look happy and say okay … go home nothing solved nor done and cry . I have tried to advocate but then one becomes a nusance . A friend suffered probably 15 years with crohnes and now it is much too late , damage done . Sorry for rambling but God there must be  a way for us who live out of the city . I can’t loose faith nor hope  , I must trust all will sort out but how ??????

I hope the new year brings life …

A new year and a new time in my life . The past five years have been years filled with so much . A time when I had lost my way and purpose in life. I went through so many stages, morphing into someone who emerged finally whole . I see life so plainly before me , the clarity amazing . I was going to just remove this site but decided not to as it is filled with my growth . Most of the time I was filled with terror , guilt , remorse ,uncertainy as to whom I was . It was also filled with joy and laughter and oh so much learning of life . I don’t spend time here any more but please those whom I have made contact with and popped on to your site you are in my thoughts . I choose carefully and wisely I see   . Good people who went on a journey and continue to of their own . A few have become special for what ever reason, you stood out and reached out too . I am happy in life , it has become full again ( still room for more though ) and my down days few . I will continue to grow and I know there will be times when it will hault and I will have to give that extra push to keep going, but isn’t that what life is … My journals are the next step, purging some of the darkness that I wrote within the pages , not all , for it is good to remember some .God has blessed me in so many ways , I am thankful . I am off now to clean the house as renovations such as painting are to be done . I didn’t visit anyone , I haven’t allowed the time but I am thinking of you, and will return to drop a line in your guest books . Stay well …

Kiffin